


In My Hands

by Tennyo



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: First Time, Fluff, Grey-Ace Yuuri, Hand Jobs, M/M, Other: See Story Notes, POV Katsuki Yuuri, Self-Esteem Issues, Smut, a little somnophilia, possibly a little dubcon because of that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2018-10-26 20:29:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10794216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tennyo/pseuds/Tennyo
Summary: After winning gold at the Japanese Nationals in Sapporo, Yuuri wakes up in the early morning and tries to show Viktor how much he loves him.(Set right afterIn My Arms, and could be read alone, although Viktor's side gives more insight.)





	In My Hands

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [In My Arms](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9082552) by [Tennyo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tennyo/pseuds/Tennyo). 



> I mentioned in the notes for [In My Arms](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9082552) that Yuuri seems to come across as somewhere in the Ace spectrum. I've decided to let him float in the nebulous space of Grey Ace, as he's still uncomfortable with the idea of actually being a sexual being. Sure, he can act sexual, but it's a different story when you're naked with your partner (and sober) and there are EXPECTATIONS. (Especially with Yuuri's performance anxiety)
> 
> Can Ace spectrum people masturbate/have sex? Absolutely. Can they actually enjoy it? Heck yes! That's why it's a spectrum. It ranges all the way from sex/touch repulsed to having regular sex with someone they love/trust.
> 
> Also, as mentioned in the first story, I forgot that the Russian Nationals were going to be at almost the same time as Japanese Nationals. Let's just gloss that over for now.

Yuuri blinks awake, Viktor’s sleeping face inches away in the dim early morning light. It’s not often he’s the first to wake, and he cranes his neck to see what time it is. Not even 6:30 yet. With a sigh, Yuuri settles against his pillow, leaning back enough to take in Viktor’s features.

It’s entirely unfair how ethereally beautiful Viktor is. His platinum hair, delicate features, flawless skin, and eyelashes that most women would kill for (he’s read the comments). Not to mention his natural grace not only on ice, but always. While he’s watching, Viktor’s nose twitches. Yuuri buries his face into the pillow. It’s not fair! Viktor is just so… Cute? Handsome? Adorable? To Yuuri, Viktor is _everything_.

Viktor lets out a breathy groan, and shifts on the bed. An arm wraps around Yuuri’s waist and tugs, making him lift his face from the pillow. Viktor’s lips are parted and there’s a crease between his brows. The arm pulls him closer still, and a leg gets thrown over Yuuri’s, trapping him in place. Yuuri adjusts, trying to make himself more comfortable in Viktor’s embrace, allowing his upper leg to slide between Viktor’s, thigh exposed from between the fold of his yukata.

Why did he wear this thing to bed anyway? Even at home, he prefers sweats, or shorts and a t-shirt. Both arms are wedged between them, and Yuuri maneuvers so that his hands are on Viktor’s bare chest. A breathy sigh escapes Viktor’s lips, and he shifts his hips, slotting Yuuri’s thigh right up against his groin, and he can feel the beginnings of an erection in Viktor’s tiny underwear. Oh. This is… awkward.

And now Yuuri’s thinking of the time he and Viktor tried to have sex. He knew Viktor wanted it, and he knew _he_ should want it, too. But it had been terrible. Of course Yuuri knew _about_ sex, what was expected. He had the internet, after all. Although, most of the gay porn he’d seen had been in the form of BL manga, which he’d later learned wasn’t quite… accurate. Viktor kept asking him if he was alright, if he was enjoying it, if he liked the different things that Viktor was doing. And, well…

It wasn’t necessarily bad at first… But it _was_ incredibly embarrassing. Yuuri automatically assumed he’d be the _uke_ or bottom, and all he could manage to do was lie there with his face hidden by his hands. It was even more mortifying that he kept losing his erection. Eventually Viktor had placed a kiss to Yuuri’s thigh before closing his legs and lying beside him with a sigh. Of course, Yuuri had offered to get Viktor off, but he’d been denied, with Viktor holding him and apologizing repeatedly, although Yuuri should have been the one to apologize.

Ever since then, Viktor had avoided initiating any kind of sexual intimacy. After an extended kissing session, he’d excuse himself to the bathroom. Yuuri knew he was taking care of himself in there, and it just made him feel worse. Why did he have to be broken? Sure he understands innuendo, but he just doesn’t get those urges himself. It’s not like he doesn’t get erections either, he does. But he doesn’t want them. No, when he does get the odd hard-on, he takes care of it quickly and quietly, treating it like any other annoying bodily function.

And now he remembers the silly idea of wearing the yukata to bed, hoping to entice Viktor with the garment as he could easily slide his hands underneath, break the stifling barrier between them, if he could just get Viktor to follow through. Maybe… Maybe Yuuri can do this for Viktor now? While he’s asleep, maybe it will be less embarrassing. Viktor has started rocking his hips, grinding his growing erection against Yuuri’s thigh. His breathing has become less even, and his grip around Yuuri’s waist has them pressed together. Yuuri settles his head in the crook of Viktor’s neck, and he places a kiss there before tilting his head up to whisper in his ear, “Viktor, I’m going to take care of you.”

That gets another squeeze around his waist, and a hum while Viktor nuzzles his hair. One hand slides lower down Viktor’s torso until he can feel it bump against the erection straining the fabric of his underwear. One-handed, it takes a couple of tugs to get the waistband past the head of Viktor’s cock. After some more careful maneuvering, Yuuri finally gets enough of it free to manipulate.

Letting out a long breath, Yuuri steels his nerves and gently wraps his hand around the length. Thankfully, while Viktor’s may be a little longer than his, it’s not any thicker so holding it is a little familiar. It’s strange, holding a penis not his own. He can’t tell if his grip is too tight or too loose, if the skin is getting pinched, or if it’s chafing. Yeah, some lotion would have been useful, but it’s a bit too late for that. Gripping loosely, Yuuri slides his hand all the way to the base, feeling the coarse, trimmed hair there against his knuckles. Squeezing a little tighter, he pulls up towards the head. When his thumb brushes against the frenulum, Viktor shudders and gasps.

 _Okay, so this is going to work_ , Yuuri thinks. Removing his hand, he brings it up to his mouth and licks his palm, spreading as thick a layer of saliva as he can manage. He reaches back down and grips Viktor again with more confidence, and is rewarded during his next stroke with Viktor’s hips canting into the motion. While still keeping his grip relatively loose, Yuuri experiments with pressure, angle, and finger placement. He seems to get the best reaction when he uses his thumb to stimulate the slit at the tip, spreading the leaking precome around the head just under the foreskin.

While his right hand is busy, Yuuri thinks about the different things that Viktor has tried to do to arouse him. Experimentally, he flicks a thumb across one of Viktor’s nipples and is rewarded with a bit more thrust of Viktor’s hips. With a smile, glad that he can further please Viktor, Yuuri begins circling and lightly tweaking the nub.

It’s not long before Viktor is panting, mewling, and grinding into Yuuri’s hand. It’s to the point that Yuuri wonders if he’s still even asleep, or if he’s now awake but wants to keep the charade going to spare Yuuri any unwanted embarrassment. The grip that Viktor’s hand has on Yuuri’s yukata has pulled the garment down, exposing his shoulder and most of his chest. He’s also panting against Yuuri’s neck, and Yuuri hears his broken, whispered pleas.

“Yuu— haaa… Fuh-faster. Mmmhhhh, yeah… Don’t stop… Ohh, I love you!”

The words spread a warmth through Yuuri, even as embarrassment tries to take over. Teeth graze his neck, making him shudder and involuntarily squeeze tighter.

“Yes! Just like— So good… My Yuuri.”

The praise fills Yuuri’s chest, and even though his arm is tiring, he redoubles his efforts, and is rewarded to hear Viktor make a choking sound, his hips steadily matching the pace of Yuuri’s hand.

Another confidence boost comes in the form or Viktor slipping into Russian. _“Moye sokrovishhe, ti nuzhen mne…”_

Viktor’s close, his breath erratic, hips losing their rhythm. With Yuuri’s name on his lips, he spills between them, hot come pulsing all over Yuuri’s hand, his yukata, the sheets. Unsure what to do now that it’s over, Yuuri stills his hand, but keeps it loosely gripped around Viktor’s softening cock. Everything seems to be covered in come, and now he’s beginning to regret this decision. Viktor pulls Yuuri up against him, and nuzzles his neck.

“Mmmm. Thank you, my love.” he whispers, breath tickling the hairs behind Yuuri’s ear.

“Uhm, I should grab something to clean up with,” Yuuri says, pulling away from Viktor and the cooling mess between them.

“Let me,” Viktor purrs into his ear, flipping over the comforter to expose himself to the cool air of the room. He rolls off the bed and shimmies the rest of the way out of his underwear before sauntering to the bathroom for a washcloth.

The yukata is pretty much a mess at this point, so Yuuri wipes his hand on it and sits up to undo the belt. The change in position reveals a pressure in his groin. Great, now he’s developed his own erection. If Viktor sees it, he’ll feel obligated to return the favor, so Yuuri rushes to disrobe and find the baggiest shirt he brought with him. He’s pulling it over his head when Viktor enters the room, a towel over one bare shoulder, a wet cloth in his hands.

“Come, let me wipe you down,” Viktor says with a relaxed smile. “It’s the least I can do.”

The baggy t-shirt covering his embarrassment, Yuuri holds out his hand for Viktor, who lovingly and painstakingly wipes down every finger, the creases in between, and all the way up his wrist. With a teasing tone to his voice, Viktor asks, “Is there anywhere else you need wiping down, Yuuri?”

“N-no, we should just go back to sleep, after cleaning up the bed.” He finds it difficult to look up at Viktor, so Yuuri just stares at the visibly wet spot.

In response, Viktor whips the towel from his shoulder and spreads it across the middle of the bed, covering any dampness. “That should take care of it until later. Come, let me hold you in the early morning light.”

Grasping Yuuri’s hand, Viktor backs onto the bed, pulling Yuuri with him. Before he realizes it, they’re back in a similar position as before, facing each other under the sheets, Viktor’s arm resting under Yuuri’s head. There’s a slight pout on Viktor’s lips.

“You give me such pleasure love, I wish I could return the favor.”

Spine stiffening, Yuuri feels his cheeks flush. “There’s no need… I don’t—”

“Shhh,” Viktor places a finger against Yuuri’s mouth. “I know. Perhaps I can offer return payment in kisses?”

Yuuri lets out a shaky breath. “Okay.”

They kiss, slow and lazy. Viktor’s hands pet his hair, arms, back. It’s soothing, and Yuuri even manages to forget about his persistent hard-on.

Until they shift positions and it presses against Viktor’s thigh.

Viktor soothes Yuuri with kisses and praise, telling him how wonderful he is, ever so slyly rubbing his thigh against Yuuri’s annoyingly hard cock.

Viktor tells Yuuri that it gives him pleasure to make his partner feel good, and it would very much please him to help Yuuri with the issue in his underwear. But he’ll stop the moment Yuuri says so.

Face buried against Viktor’s chest, Yuuri murmurs agreement.

Continuing with his earlier petting, Viktor places kisses in his hair, teases fingers up and down his spine, until Yuuri starts to relax. A hand slips down, tracing the elastic ridge of his underwear.

“Slide them down for me?” Viktor asks softly.

Trying really hard to not think about it, Yuuri shuffles himself out of his underwear. Cock free, Viktor takes a firm hold, and gives a gentle squeeze. “Is this good?”

Yuuri nods, eyes closed tight.

There’s lotion on the bedside table, and Viktor leans away to reach for it, the wet sounds of it being warmed between hands reaching Yuuri’s ears.

Tensing, he feels Viktor wrap a hand around his dick, the lotion making it slick. Giving it a light squeeze, Viktor proceeds to coat his erection in lotion, his warm, moist hand almost soothing with the gentle touch. Face pressed against Viktor’s chest, Yuuri takes a deep breath and exhales through his nose. Viktor’s just helping him out, taking care of the problem so Yuuri doesn’t have to. That calms him a bit, thinking about how as a couple they ease each other’s burdens.

Both of Viktor’s hands get involved, one cradling Yuuri’s balls while the other slides over his cock, squeezing on the way up, thumb flicking the slit with each stroke. It feels better than Yuuri could have imagined, and yet strange. Is it like when you try to tickle yourself, but it only works when someone else does it? But then again, why had things failed so spectacularly on Barcelona? Had it only been nerves? If only it were that simple.

Apparently realizing Yuuri’s become absorbed in his own thoughts, Viktor purrs in his ear, saying that doing this pleases him so much that he’s growing hard again. Yuuri makes a noise in disbelief, but Viktor says to reach down and find out. Sure enough, he’s already at half-mast, and it jumps at Yuuri’s touch.

A hitch of breath, Viktor nuzzles at his temple before whispering in his ear, “Kiss me, Yuuri.” There’s an edge in his voice that’s usually only heard just before their kissing sessions stop. It sends a thrill through Yuuri, that he gets to share this moment with Viktor, that now they don’t have to stop.

Tilting his head, he captures Viktor’s mouth, and opens willingly to his tongue. Oh, this feeling is new. And he likes it. Yuuri finds himself gasping into Viktor’s mouth, the onslaught of sensations overwhelming. The space between them has grown humid, hands working in tandem in a slick rhythm. Yuuri finds his own cock twitching with each of Viktor’s moans.

He’s close now, and dammit, why is Viktor slowing down? They shift, Viktor holding Yuuri’s hands in his, and they grasp both cocks together with their combined grip. It feels incredible, and Viktor lets him set the pace. Used to not wanting to draw it out, Yuuri speeds up, and they’re both soon gasping into each other’s mouths.

Yuuri’s close, right on the edge, when Viktor whispers in his ear, “I hope one day to feel you inside of me, Yuuri.”

That’s it, it’s all over, Yuuri spilling into the circle of their hands, Viktor close behind. Shivering with sensitivity and aftershocks, Yuuri processes the most intense orgasm of his entire life. Is he finally getting a taste of what everyone’s so obsessed with? Sure, it was good, but to want that all the time? He’s disappointed that this doesn’t bring some sort of huge revelation for him, or unlock some hidden desires. Well, okay, it did feel amazing this time, especially when they were kissing, but he still can’t see doing this all the time, the way some guys seem to want to.

As things start to cool down, Yuuri realizes that his shirt is done for, so he strips it off, Viktor using it to mop things up a bit. A languid drowsiness pulls at his limbs, so Yuuri doesn’t care as much as he normally would. Wiped off, sated and sleepy, they face each other, pulling the covers back up to their chins.

“Did you enjoy that?” asks Viktor, his knuckles grazing Yuuri’s shoulder.

“Mmmhhh,” Yuuri replies, giving a single nod and a slow blink.

Leaning in, Viktor places a gentle kiss on his lips. “I love you, Yuuri.”

Smiling at the tender gesture, Yuuri drawls out, “Love you too, Viktor.”

He closes his eyes and settles into the mattress, drowsiness pulling at him. While not sure if they will be able to overcome his lack of enthusiasm for sex, at least now he knows it can be fun, he thinks as he drifts off to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> my treasure, (Moye sokrovishhe)
> 
> Ti nuzhen mne (Ты нужен мне) - I need male!you (Thanks to SM13 for the correction!)
> 
> Notes:  
> In this story, Yuuri refers to himself as broken. This does NOT reflect the views of the author, but reflects Yuuri's own feelings of inadequacy. Yes, sure, Phichit has most likely tried to explain the Ace spectrum to Yuuri, but that doesn't mean that he will always accept himself the way he is.


End file.
